


Found

by heartremiss



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
Genre: M/M, this is so cursed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 12:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19700956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartremiss/pseuds/heartremiss
Summary: Hades has let this go on for too long. This being, whoever they may be, must be confronted.





	Found

**Author's Note:**

> Heather idk whether to thank you or blame you

Hades was irritable, more so than usual. Being in the human realm will do that to a god. He felt out of place in the sunny field where he stood, squinting to try and get a better look at his destination through the harsh beams of sunlight. 

It was not often that he would venture beyond the underworld himself, usually employing someone like Penthos or Phobos to do these kinds of jobs. But this one...this one was personal. Someone, or more likely, something had been evading the underworld for far too long. It wasn’t an immortal, Hades had a list of all immortal beings and was made aware if the Almighty Zeus decided to grant someone immortality because he was in a good mood or he thought they were hot or what the fuck ever. Zeus was a dick. Anyways. The point is he would know, if this  _ thing _ should’ve been alive, and it shouldn’t have. So here he was. In...where was he? He looked for a sign and found a shoddily constructed wooden pole with planks bearing the painted words: ‘100 AKER WOODS’ and on a plank underneath ‘POOH BEARS HOUSE’ with an arrow pointing to the left. The letters were sloppy and the spelling and grammar was atrocious. Hades mused that it was most likely a ploy, to make him believe he was in the wrong place.To make him stop and say “Surely someone who couldn’t even spell ‘acre’ couldn’t evade me: the god of the underworld!” but Hades, intellectual that he was, saw right through it and followed the wobbly arrow to claim what was rightfully the property of the underworld. 

After a short walk, that some people would call pleasant (if the people in question were not Hades), he reached a small cottage built into the base of a tree. There was a pile of ceramic pots just to the left of the small door, labelled ‘HUNNY’. Nailed to the door was a bell with a string attached and a small inscription beneath it reading: ‘RNIG ALSO’. Above the door was a wooden sign that read ‘MR SANDERS’. The last S was backwards. Hades seethed and knocked loudly on the wooden door. 

“You already wrote one fucking S, you clearly  _ know _ how to write the letter S, who do you think you’re fooling?” Hades muttered under his breath.

The door opened and he braced himself to encounter some sort of smug human that had delved too deep into necromancy, or a mystical beast who had pushed the bounds of its powers. Instead the door swung open and Hades was met with, what appeared to be...a bear? Not a bear as in: brown fur, big teeth, apex predator. But a bear as in: small, yellow and seemingly soft. He was confounded for a moment but regained his composure almost instantly and spoke,

“I am Hades. You are withholding property of the underworld. Return it immediately or face the consequences.” 

The small creature’s eyes went wide, and Hades thought ‘ _ Ha, i’ve got you.’ _ But when the creature spoke, he didn’t sound afraid. His voice was gentle, almost sleepy and he was in no rush to say what he had to say.

“Oh, bother. My memory must be bad, i don’t remember borrowing anything of yours,” he paused, looking about the cottage, “but feel free to come and look for it!” and he began to walk back into the cottage, expecting Hades to follow. 

Hades was sure this was some sort of trap. But how had he known he would come today? He narrowed his eyes and weighed up his options. He could decline the offer to come in, and figure out another plan of extraction, but this gave his opponent time to think too. Or he could go in blind, and trust that his power was greater than that of this little yellow creature. He chose the latter because he honestly wasn’t in the mood for plans and kind of just wanted to get this over with. So in he went. 

And nothing happened.

The bear sat at a round, wooden table, digging through one of those ceramic pots labelled hunny and occasionally shoving his entire hand (paw?) into his mouth and sucking the honey from it and then repeating the process. This stressed Hades out. First of all, this fucker had  _ fur.  _ So he was probably getting sticky as hell. Secondly, who the fuck eats that much honey and third of all, utensils exist. Hades sat at the table across from this little monstrosity and watched for a while as he consumed what Hades thought was an unhealthy amount of honey. After a while the creature looked up and exclaimed: 

“Oh! How rude of me.” and proceeded to pull another pot from god knows where and present it to Hades. He chuckled and went back to his own pot. 

Hades stared at the pot in front of him like it was some sort of threat upon his existence. He had had enough. 

“What is your name, creature?” He said, not taking his eyes off the pot. 

“Winnie the Pooh, but all of my friends call me Pooh.” The creature said with a smile. “And you are?” 

“I already told you,” he frowned “I am Hades.” 

”Hello Hades.” Pooh said, and held out his hand or paw or whatever the hell it was. He was just going to call it a hand.

Hades looked to the outstretched limb and was confused by the cleanliness of it. He had, just seconds ago, had it fully submerged in a pot of honey. Hades was sure he must have possessed some sort of magic. He shook the hand offered to him and gripped it tightly to try and get a feel for any magic, but all he felt was a soft, round and squishy hand. 

“Pleased to meet you.” Pooh said and Hades started to question whether this was really the person he was looking for. 

Noticing his untouched pot, Pooh cocked his head and looked up at Hades.

“Oh. Do you not like honey? Would you like something else.” His voice was sincere and almost...comforting.

Hades went to say “No, thank you, I'm fine.” But for some reason unbeknownst to him the word that tumbled past his lips was:

“Vimpo.” 

_ ‘Vimpo. That’s absolutely not even a word.’  _ He thought. And yet, Pooh didn’t seem to pick up on the fact that it was nonsense. He said, simply, 

“Oh dear. I’m afraid I don't have any.”

He looked rather sad as he’d said it, and for some reason that troubled Hades. 

“Ah, that’s my mistake, it’s not even vimpo season at the moment.” He said in hopes of cheering Pooh up.

And thankfully, it worked. Pooh’s face brightened. He went as if to scoop some more honey, but stopped, mid-scoop, with a puzzled expression on his face. He looked up at Hades and said,

“Did you find what you were looking for?” 

And Hades was momentarily caught off guard by the question until he remembered that Pooh had misunderstood what he was here for and had thought he came looking for something Pooh had borrowed and forgotten to return. He frowned.

“I- well I’m not entirely sure.” He answered honestly. 

“Well, you can stay until you have.” Pooh said with a small smile. 

And later, curled up in Pooh’s bed with his head on the bear’s plush chest, Hades thought that maybe he had found what he was looking for after all, but he’d stay a little longer anyway. 

**Author's Note:**

> am i implying that winnie the pooh is an incredibly powerful being that could evade death and live forever and just chooses to use his power on honey based activities? absolutely. what of it.


End file.
